Raising my kids in France means that I’m not exposed to many parenting styles from back home. I know what my extended family does with their kids, and I remember what it was like when I was growing up; but current parenting trends only reach me through things I read online.
The Internet tells me that there are helicopter parents, attachment parents and micro managing ones. It’s all a lot to keep straight.
From my childhood I remember the standard rules: Don’t take candy from strangers and
don’t talk to strangers. There was a lot of stranger danger, and I can’t help but think it’s only gotten worse.
But what happens if you raise your kids in Europe?
Things are different. At times it can be like living in a time warp. Things are so much more relaxed that it can be a bit shocking when we go back home and see how strict things are.
I don’t disagree that we should be cautious with our kids. Just as much as the next parent, I don’t want my kids eating poisonous candy, or being taken away by a stranger. But why are things so different on this side of the pond?
I have traveled with my children to most of the countries in Western Europe and I feel as though many of the North American rules don’t apply here for some reason.
I’ve had strangers take my toddler’s hand and help her climb the stairs without asking me if it’s okay. Not because they were trying to be creepy, but because they could see that I had my hands full with another baby.
Last week a man sitting beside us on a train started feeding my kids the biscuits he was eating. Not because he wanted to poison them, but because he saw them staring at his cookies and simply wanted to share with the kids beside him. He didn’t think it was necessary to check with me first; instead he treated them as he would his own grand-kids.
In the market, my kids were once stopped by an elderly woman who began searching through her purse and giving them candy. I literally let them take candy from a stranger…how was I supposed to tell this sweet little lady otherwise?
I feel like these situations wouldn’t even happen at home because people behave so differently.
You wouldn’t dare feed anything to someone else’s child because they might have an allergy or not be allowed to eat it. Nor would you touch another person’s kid in fear of it being inappropriate in some way. Yet, across Europe you’ll find people treating your children as their own. Even if it means a stranger shaking their finger, ‘no, no, no’ at your toddler while they’re having a melt-down in the grocery store. I don’t take offense to it though, because it’s normal here, and I’m happy for the help.
People contributing to other’s parenting seems to be fair game over here in Europe. But I’m okay with that because sometimes it really does take a village to raise a child.
It is a sad time in many ways raising children today. I truly apprieciated the extra eyes on our street watching our children coming or going to school or just playing in the neighbourhood and disciplining when necessary. Somehow things have changed in North America and not for the better.
That is so interesting. It also makes me a little sad that my kids are growing up on this side of the pond where EVERYTHING is made out to be so dangerous. It’s exhausting really. It is difficult to allow your kids to be kids when there is such an expectation of constant supervision created by our culture. I fear it is stifling our children. Enjoy that freedom as you raise your littles abroad.
Oh my! I love this post. I laughed out loud at the thought of a man feeding my (theoretical) children on a train. From the American perspective, that seems ludicrous! I’m an expat living in France, planning to start a family here, and I want to read all I can about these cultural differences. I read Bringing up Bébé and really enjoyed it. It made me feel really good about raising children here. Have you read it?
I started reading it, but life got it the way. 😉
I love bringing up mes bébés in France and I’m sure you will too!