“Where are you from?”
“France!” My four year old pipes up, pronouncing the country’s name as only a French person does.
My husband and I exchange a quick smirk as we sit with our legs dangling in the hotel’s pool. She was right. She is from France and so is her sister; that’s their ‘home’.
“We’re from Canada.” My husband says, nodding in my direction and offering the statement as an explanation as to why our daughter flips seamlessly between French and English like a translator for the U.N.
And just to keep things interesting, I add, “But we live in Indonesia.”
Our new poolside friend was not expecting such a complex answer to his simple question, and his eyebrows were now raised as high as they would go.
“Well.” Was all he could manage in response, and we shared a little laugh at all of our expenses.
Answering the ‘where are you from’ question is not an easy task for us. My husband and I will always consider Canada home; it’s where we grew up. But anyone who has kids knows how much life changes once you go from a couple, to a family. Our entire family life(4 years) up until a few months ago took place in France. Our children consider France home because they’ve only visited Canada on vacation. They were born in France, they speak French at home with my husband(who is French Canadian), and our oldest started school there. These kids ate camembert before they had teeth. Even here in Indonesia, at a French International School, our kids are surrounded by French teachers and playmates, so not much has changed for them.
We knew before we moved from France that Indonesia would be a quick stop for us. The ‘home’ aspect most likely won’t stick here because aside from the much shorter stay, no one in our family was born here, and besides a few words, we don’t speak the language. Yet, it is home for now so we do our best to make it feel that way.
Where will our next ‘home’ be? We’re not sure yet. But in the expat community people understand that ‘where are you from’ can be difficult to answer. Sometimes when you arrive at your new ‘home’ people ask, ‘where are you coming from’ instead. As in, where did you last live?
Our plan is to not bounce around forever. At some point we want to give the kids some roots so they have an easier answer to that question. But for now they’re still small and all I know is that where ever we end up next, our answer isn’t getting any easier.
We’re from Canada, the girls are from France, we’re coming from Indonesia, and now we live in _(insert country here)____.
If nothing else, the kids will have remarkable geography skills by the time this adventure is done.
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Haha YEP!!!! At least you and your husband are from the same country! One less thing to list off – lol.
Ya, you’ve got it worse Jennifer! 😉
These kids ate camembert before they had teeth..
So true! How wonderful, they will embrace a diversity of foods from all over the world, they won’t be picky eaters, and likely will never have a weight issue and all the complications that come with it; both physical and psychological.
Bravo, c’est bien réussi:)
At 6.5 (1958), I was eating snails, tongue, brains, liver, and chicken feet blackened on the stove over a live fire. I was even allowed to wash it down with a glass of wine or beer!
I never met a food I didn’t like, I never became an alcoholic (go figure?).
And the kids speak French and English without an accent I’ll wager. They’re not just bilingual, they’re bicultural. They’re sponges at that age, they learn by osmosis, just like I did living in America from 3-6.
Oh, faut que je sorte le Camembert du fridge! Au revoir:)
Claude the only problem with growing up on French cheese is that all other cheeses now pale in comparison! 😉
Bicultural they definitely are!
Yes, that is a problem when you start life with such culinary expectations!
This is so true, even if you haven’t lived in several countries. I’m an immigrant (UK to Canada), but was also a military child, now military spouse. Answering this question gets complicated when you’ve lived in 4 or 5 separate locations in the UK, and now just as many in Canada. My husband is Canadian, but not from any of the places where we’ve lived as a couple. We now answer with the place we ‘consider’ home!
Living in Japan with a Japanese husband and mixed race kid I always want to answer “Yokohama” when asked where I’m from. The question can be “where do you live” sometimes as many Japanese don’t speak English well.
And despite being born here many people speak to my (20 month old) son in ENGLISH. He has brown hair and hazel eyes so he looks foreign to many people. No doubt he will find himself having to answer that question even though he comes from here.
I spend 5 weeks in Jakarta many years ago. I didn’t enjoy it much to be honest. But I did enjoy the food. I imagine there’s been a lot of change there anyway.
Awesome blog ! love it !
I always wince when I get asked that question.
Being bicultural myself, half English, half Portuguese and having grown up in several places way before the concept of ‘Third Culture Kid’ existed, I never really felt I belonged anywhere.
Now married to a Frenchman and living in Brazil, coming from China only adds to the complexity of the answer 🙂
I am so thankful that in this day and age we can connect so easily with others who can relate to it…
Great blog Lisa!
Love it! We had a similar situation few years ago in a resort in Mexico. The staff from the kids club knew we we living in California but when they asked our two girls (one evening at the kids show, in front of many) “where are you from?” they received two different answers:
– (older one) from Germany
– (younger one) from Canada
You should have seen the face of the lady on stage with them!
Long story short, my husband and I are French Canadian, our girls were both born in Munich and we now live in California since three years.
I’m also French Canadian…through marriage 😉